Sometimes a day or a week is awful, it sucks, and there's nothing that can be done about it, it feels like giving up and walking away is the only solution. But then that little voice in the back of my mind speaks up with "I wasn't raised a quitter" and that is almost enough of a push to get through. When it is time to find a way to carry on, it isn't always easy...
I watched a drama recently and it was filled with gems like "if you want to cry, cry", "if you're not happy don't force yourself to smile", and "it doesn't do well to compromise one's self for others". Often it feels like it is best to show a reduced and refined version of ourselves to fit in, but in doing so the day is exhausting before it has even begun. Forcing a smile for eight solid hours, keeping quiet about how something has made you feel for the sake of peace, all of it infuriates me. While I think the trick is to not be dragged down by emotions or to be overcome by them, at the same time they ought not be neglected entirely. Trusting my instincts has gotten me this far, so acknowledging how a situation has made me feel, means that I can look at what I want or do not want with clarity.
There are also, thankfully, some things from this week that I can look back on and smile about, little moments which deserve not to be overshadowed by doom and gloom. Making a new friend to commute and go on lunchtime walks with, scheduling important conversations to vent frustrations together, and even booking actual meetings but in the room with a view for some people watching. Each of these moments were ones where I could be myself and I did not compromise in any way to blend in, and these are the times that stand out to me as the most cheerful parts of the week.
So I have come to a conclusion that little moments and sweet treats are the solution. While all those sayings about growing more in the tougher times might be true, a tiny treat can't hurt along the way. Having something to look forward to helps time fly where it usually crawls, so what harm can there be in little rewards like putting extra sugar syrup in my coffee order because it's the last office day of the week. These moments with friends, or sugary treats, can be just what is needed to get through a tricky time and, while it doesn't do to bury emotions, finding my own way to deal with them is a success in itself.
Why the cinnamon bun cup? It's cute! I wanted to buy it as soon as I saw it, but I played chicken and waited for sale season, and luck was on my side! So, I bought the thing I wanted because I liked it, and why should I not get myself something because someone out there in the world may judge me for liking the things I do?
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